A Stranger in a Strange Land
Who ya you calling old? Me?! Pfft!! Seriously? Alright, alright, apologies. Yeah, okay sixty eight years around the sun isn’t what most folks consider young. And I certainly aint going to start making absurd statements like sixty is the new forty. Because by God, I wish I was forty again. Really. But still… As another…
Cheap Date
Yep, she called me a jerk! And a creep and an asshole. But even worse she called me cheap. Not to my face mind you. No, it was all done later behind my back. But the result was damning and it effectively ended my social life at Chico State. So let me rewind my story…
Pick Me!
No one had ever done it before. Pledged the Deltas TWICE in a year. You had to be utterly stupid or a masochist. Perhaps a merry combination of the two. Ah, but I wanted to belong. I was young, and fresh out of a little town called Cupertino, a place no one had ever heard…
Teddy! Have Mop Will Travel!!
“Oh, Dear God No!” I thought. It can’t be – but it was. Yep, I should’ve checked my calendar alright. Cause it was Senior Discount Day at Willies, our local market. Which was the absolute most crazy and dare I say hazardous time where all Seniors in my area descended upon our little gourmet grocery…
Happy New Year 2024!
Happy New Year 2024! Readmykooltales is taking a short hiatus during the month of January – I will resume publishing in February. Thank you for following me and for your Awesome support. Stay Frosty Guys. And remember – Y’all Totally Rock!!
A Little Ice Cream
Every Sunday when he was at home my Old Man would take us out for a Sunday night dinner at his Country Club of which he was a member. Dressed in our best clothes and prepped to be on our best behavior – Matty and I were herded into the Club restaurant, where once seated…
Behold, Excalibur!
Things were a little more physical when I was a kid. What I mean is that it seemed like we played harder, got dirtier, and somehow survived all the bumps and bruises from roughhousing back then. Parents were more physical in disciplining their kids as they often engaged in smacking or spanking their children when…
Fangs for the Memories
It couldn’t be true. Could it? Ah yes, but it was. And all of us kids could all feel it. There were signs and omens you see. It was 1965 and another school year was already underway at Louise Van Meter Elementary and the leaves were beginning to turn crimson and gold. The heavenly perfume…
You Made Me Cry
Step forward and be recognized, Sir Charleton,” said Queen Raquelina.” Hitching my sword belt to a more comfortable position over my washboard stomach I strode forward to be honored by my beloved Lady and patron. My six-foot broadsword clanked noisily over the flagstones as I made my way up to the royal dais. Just as…
Love Handles
The most dreaded question contains just five words. This question has ended relationships, created rifts between couples, and heck I bet it has started wars and even toppled Empires! Even the strongest he-men when asked this question have been turned into cowering weaklings. And Einsteins have been reduced to gibbering idiots when confronted by this…